Someday.

is he there?
does he really care?
does he see me cry?
does he wonder why?
wonder why I always hide my eyes
and how I try to keep the truth confined
confined by all the broken dreams
which he kindly left ripped at the seams
when I cannot sleep since he roams my bed
roams my bed with his presence in my head
he ruins my very attempt to live my life
and leaves my withering soul to die
it seems I did not know love by its name
and it seems my efforts to learn only were in vain
I don't have the courage to stand up and fight
fight the demons which haunt me at night
I simply do not have the very capacity
it takes to capture a state of serenity
perhaps I'm doomed to be paced by desires of those
those who claim to possess the power of control
I will be the slave of their vapid commands
but it will leave the great decisions off my hands
when they fail in the process of practising love
when they eventually will realize it's not enough
I will no longer stand as the one who pursued insanity
I just tried to escape the lingering scarcity
the scarcity of places where I could feel infinity
as I aimlessly searched for the fields of sagacity
now I woodenly crawl on the freezing floors
as I realize he has ineluctably locked the doors
I search for every piece he broke of my heart
I must collect them alone and glue every part
along the search I will hopefully find the key
the key to unlock all the wonders he locked away
I will find it again, I promise, I will, someday
until then I must stand the pain and cry it out
and somehow, someday, finally, and there's no doubt
the sun will outshine the cloudy days with brigther light
and I will truly know that my dignity was worth the fight.

en gang til

jeg ville ønske, det ville forsvinde
den smerte, jeg føler, inderst inde
mit hjerte vil bare ikke hele
og jeg er delt i tusind dele
jeg kan ikke bære at savne dig mere
jeg kan ikke bære, at du ikke er her
jeg elsker dig så uendeligt
og ensomheden er så ubegribelig
jeg ville ønske, du var min
og jeg vil bare være din
jeg ville ønske, vi kunne igen
at du igen ville være den
der der holdte mit slående hjerte
så jeg ikke længere ville føle smerte
at du ville elske mig
som jeg elsker dig
hvorfor savner du ikke?
hvor elsker du ikke?
og hvis du gør - hvorfor så ikke mig?
når nu jeg kun savner og elsker dig?
lær mig at være, som du er
lær mig at gøre, som du gør
det virker tilsyneladende til at komme videre
og jeg er jo blot fanget her
fanget i ønsket om, at du bare ser
ser, hvor meget jeg længes
hvor meget jeg mindes
jeg vil bare have dig tilbage
jeg vil bare have de dage
jeg vil bare gerne have en chance til
det er egentlig, det eneste jeg vil

Still

I still hear the echoes of the walked out steps
And I still feel the moisture of the kisses on my lips
The air that surrounded us hasn’t yet turned cold
And the words we were whispering are still untold

Baby, you're love blind

No, you don’t got a hold on me any longer
No, our friendship is not growing any stronger
Actually it tends to grow weaker by day
And what we used to have is fading away
I am tired of whispering comforting words
Every time you claim that it hurts
You think you feel the pain of love
And you claim you aren’t strong enough
I feel lethargic as I nod and dry your tears
And once again I fight back all of you fears
I fight your demons with my weapon of trust
A trust that piece by piece has been crushed
Crushed by your lack of attention
As you forget your pain and only feel affection
It’s okay if it’s all that matters to you
But it leaves me with nothing else to do
I’m tired and you make me sick
So I’m giving up, I’m giving in
I let you win
You can have your perfect life all alone
Don’t even bother ’cause I’m going home
Home to the places I used to enjoy
A place that aren’t dominated by a boy
I have loves that don’t mind to be with me
And unlike you they seem to be
Persons to rely on to hold my heart
So goodbye, honey, I take back your part.

Giving in

All I want to do is hold you
There is nothing much to say
I would like to tell a lie to you
Just pretend another day
- Kira and the Kindred Spirits, Happiness saves lives, Giving in.

Your weary heart

In your eyes I see you’re falling apart
And I wonder how and when she broke you heart
I wonder if you carry the same pain and shame
As I carry under my ego and name
I wonder if you ever cry like me
And I wonder if you will ever see
See how much you could mean to me
And that I promise never to flee
I will watch your heart and hold it tight
And I will keep you warm every night

The Loss

I'm trying not to think about it
'Cause it really makes me sick
sometimes I even try to regret
only to realize it won't make me forget.