Someday.

is he there?
does he really care?
does he see me cry?
does he wonder why?
wonder why I always hide my eyes
and how I try to keep the truth confined
confined by all the broken dreams
which he kindly left ripped at the seams
when I cannot sleep since he roams my bed
roams my bed with his presence in my head
he ruins my very attempt to live my life
and leaves my withering soul to die
it seems I did not know love by its name
and it seems my efforts to learn only were in vain
I don't have the courage to stand up and fight
fight the demons which haunt me at night
I simply do not have the very capacity
it takes to capture a state of serenity
perhaps I'm doomed to be paced by desires of those
those who claim to possess the power of control
I will be the slave of their vapid commands
but it will leave the great decisions off my hands
when they fail in the process of practising love
when they eventually will realize it's not enough
I will no longer stand as the one who pursued insanity
I just tried to escape the lingering scarcity
the scarcity of places where I could feel infinity
as I aimlessly searched for the fields of sagacity
now I woodenly crawl on the freezing floors
as I realize he has ineluctably locked the doors
I search for every piece he broke of my heart
I must collect them alone and glue every part
along the search I will hopefully find the key
the key to unlock all the wonders he locked away
I will find it again, I promise, I will, someday
until then I must stand the pain and cry it out
and somehow, someday, finally, and there's no doubt
the sun will outshine the cloudy days with brigther light
and I will truly know that my dignity was worth the fight.